By: Sarah MacDonald
It's been almost a decade since I lost my little cousin, she was 12 years old when she passed away. It took one full year plus one week from the time she caught a cold (the cold is what caused the infection) to the time she passed.
I can't even begin tell you how much I still think about my sweet cousin. My children play with some of her old stuffed animals my uncle gave me after she passed. I have a small piece of her artwork hanging off my rear view mirror. I keep little reminds of her around, because I miss her.
I had a few friends over a couple of months ago when my own mother was visiting me. We made a HUGE Indian meal for friends, and everyone enjoyed some great conversation. During this conversation my friend brought up keepsakes. Out of nowhere I shared a story about a special keepsake charm that I carry around with me everywhere I go! Even as a Flight Attendant I would carry it around in my airline ID badge. That evening, after dinner, I logged on to Facebook to read my uncles post about it being ten years since my cousin had passed away. I had not shared that story in a group setting before, so I found it to be such a coincidence that I shared my story about her on that particular evening.
Anyways, my cousin was a lovely, fun, creative, sweet little girl and I still miss her every day.
Which comes to my biggest fear, the loss of my own children. I know it's irrational to worry about, they are perfectly healthy, but it scares me more than anything. I know I can't control the future, I can just do my best to teach them about safety and keep them healthy, but what if something terrible happened? Again, I know it's not good to live in this mindset. I try not to think about it, but I can't help myself sometimes.
We have lovely family friends who lost their only child when he was in his mid twenties. I can't even imagine what that would be like. How does one cope with such a loss?
I often think about my friend who passed away at the age of 19 while on his way home. The accident immediately took his life.
Again, how did his parent, his siblings deal with his passing?
How do mothers that have miscarriages cope? How do they move forward from such a loss?
Is there a healthy way to deal with loss? Whether we lose a child, a relative, a friend, a coworker, a grandparent, an acquaintance, we have all lost someone.
I would like to know about healthy grieving methods, because loss affects every Mother I know. Also, how do we teach our children healthy grieving methods when their great grandparents pass away? How do we help them make sense of this type of situation? Death happens, and as the living, we need to cope with the loss of loved ones while still functioning in our role as mothers.
These are a few of the reasons, The Motherhood Bozeman, has decided to create 'Grief and Loss' as a topic for one of our meetings.
You may be thinking, "well that sounds depressing", but we plan on making this meeting far from depressing. We will start with a guest speaker sharing a story about someone special they lost and how that person left a positive impacted on their lives. We will talk with a grief counsellor about healthy grieving methods. Can we normalize grieving? We will find out! As a group we will share lessons we learned from the lovely people that are no longer with us. We will leave this meeting with new tools to cope with grieving and be filled up with lovely stories about fond memories and life lessons. We will support Mothers in our own community.
If you have a topic that is special to you or something you would like to hear more about, please contact The Motherhood Bozeman and we will try to make your topic a blog or even an event! We want to talk about what you want to hear about.
We can be reached on our Facebook site or emailed directly at: firstname.lastname@example.org