Written by From One Mother to Another
There is a time in every parent's life when the words "oh shit!" Are very appropriate.
Let me share a story with you. It isn't a fairy tale with a romantic happily ever after ending but I can start it with "once upon a time!"
"Once upon a time..." there was a mother sleeping peacefully in her bed sandwiched between her partner, her toddler and her two dogs. The mother is a night owl and prefers to wake up well after the sun has done its dawning.
But this morning was different. Something roused the mother at 0400 in the morning. Just prior to when her husband normally rose for work. You see her sweet toddler woke up screaming "I is hungry! I want toast!" This was pretty unusually since said toddler also likes to sleep well after dawn. Nonetheless the mother woke up and succumbed to the toddlers toast request, as odd as it was.
After the bread was toasted and jelly applied the partner woke up surprised to see the mother and toddler awake and nibbling toast.
The toast was put aside by the toddler and the mother carted the sweet toddler to bed, snuggling them both under the warm blankets.
A few minutes later her partner was fed, dressed, waving good-bye and off to work.
The beautiful quiet only lasted 2 minutes before the toddler was screaming "I is hungry" and jumped out of the bed running to the bed's foot and pausing. The mother sighed, a sigh of acceptance. "This is what today will look like" she thought and rose from the bed. The toddler rhythmically cried "I is hungry" pausing after then crying again. The frequency and tone seemed unusual and concerning now.
The mother reached the toddler and knelt down hugging the sweet screaming toddler. She discovered the toddlers belly was tight and could feel the rhythmic contracting of the baby's intestines. And all the mother could think was "oh, shit, oh fucking shit."
She reached her arms around the baby's body and hugged her. The toddler changed her cries to "up, hold me, up" and the mother responded just as expected. She slid her arm down the baby's back, over the cloth diaper cover and to the crook of her knees. She paused, its uncertain what hit her first, the smell or the feel but the feel certainly hit her the hardest. It was warm, oatmeal like but thinner. The smell was sour, fishy and sweet all at the same time. And the mother thought "Oh, shit!"
The toddler screamed "I is hungry" and the mother felt the baby's body contract and cling to her while then hearing the most god awful sound, similar to the farting flubber kids buy on the dollar isle but distinctly wetter, ththththtfffffllllurrrrppsh. And all she could do was hold her baby. Then it was quiet. The wave of odor rolled up causing and instinctual gagging, heaving response in the mother. The baby clung to her and repeated "I is hungry" and then the mother connected the cries to the intestinal contractions and she braced for the sound and smell but was still caught off guard by a new sensation. She felt the warm thin oatmeal sludge spill out of the diaper and roll, ooze and drip over her forearms. "Oh shit."
This repeated a few more times before the baby's guts were empty and she was quiet. The mother steadied the baby and stood up turning the bedroom light on. Looking down she saw the poor toddler standing in a pile of "oh, shit" and saw her own arms covered in "oh, shit" and she sighed "oh fucking shit". She quickly grabbed wet wipes and began cleaning off her arms, toddler legs and toes. Going fast and thankful for the powerfully fragrant wet wipes.
The Mother's small dog came and nudged her to go outside. The mother said "not now, wait a minute and please don't add a pile to this pile" and continue cleaning the sweet but smelly toddler and herself. One million wet wipes and a diaper change later the toddler and mother were clean-ish. The mother returned to the carpet where the pile of "oh shit" was, prepared to exhaust another package of wipes but when she reached where the pile was she saw her smiling dog and a clean-ish carpet